Fire and Whiskey Don't Mix
by Kenneth Black
Summary: Makoto leaves Minako and Rei her kitchen and a bottle of beverage to spice up their cooking. Rei and Minako tend to leave burners on high patrol, and with Artemis to help things along, the heat's gonna scorch someone!


A/N: I wonder if pans really do this. . . -..^;

DISCLAIMER: Not owning anything except my quirky humor

**Fire and Whiskey Don't Mix**

"KYAAAAAAAAAH!"

Minako screamed as the pan flared up underneath her hand, fire jumping in joy. The pan clanged to the stove, making a big clatter. Panic coursed through her, making her jump around, her arms flailing up and down wildly.

"Waa-a-aah! Rei-chaaaa-!"

"Does Usagi's idol make such a fuss?"

Teasing warmth of softened sterness wrapped around her, as a pair of arms encircling the small of her waist. Those same arms reached forwards to grasp the handle of the pan and picked it up, the slight twist of that delicate wrist swirling the melted butter all 'round the metal film covering.

That's how Makoto found them when she walked into her apartment, the 'priestess' teaching pop-hit idol the makings of French Toast.

"Hey, guys. Learning how to control the pan any, Minako?"

At the blonde's tell-tale blush, Makoto could only shake her head and grin at the two. Walking over to her cupboards, the head chef pulled out a bottle and handed it to the curious female.

Rei took it, looking shocked as she read, 'Lemon 'n' Lime, Mixed Margarita! Makoto! We COULDN'T...!" "Heh, it's for COOKING, silly."

The Sailor Scout of Lightning whapped the Scout of Fire on the back and about pushed the two into the fire, grinning like crazy. At the blank looks both women gave her, she sweatdropped a bit and popped the top off with a direct cuff to the bottle, tipping a bit onto her fingertips.

She gave credit to Rei for not even jerking a bt as she flicked the alcohol onto the stove's burner and flames flared up, but couldn't help but giggle as Minako started squirming in panic as small hot stuff licked at her apron.

"Well, you two, don't burn my house down and I'll cook you a nice dinner later, okay? Ja-na!"

"Wow," Rei mused into her friend's ear after the girl left, slamming the door cheerfully after her. "Now she's REALLY got me thinking- that party we went to together last Friday. The one where Ami was... INCOHERENT after? D'you think...?"

Minako looked over her shoulder at a grinning minx.

"MAAAAAA-AYBE."

Rei widened her eyes in mock horror.

"No..!"

Minako turned and punched her friend full in the stomach, playful.

"Yes!"

Both burst out laughing, falling to the floor.

_No one noticed a stealthy slinking of white cat calmly pop open a bag of extra-cheese popcorn. At gasping exhales of snorted laughter, blue eyes narrowed and rolled in exasperation as the cat tipped the kernels into the hot pan._

_No lid. It was on the counter._

_Padding over to the edge of the counter, the graceful feline jumped on top of the fridge. All he had to do now was wait. It wouldn't be long._

Rei felt her insides clamp, spasm merrily as she tried to hold in her laughter. Makoto, drugging Ami to haul her off into the night? BWAHAHAHAHA!

"Ne, ne, Rei, let's test it out!"

The priestess looked over in surprise and noted the lowered eyelids, just in the RIGHT position for triple-dog-dare-ya.

Adorable.

Taking the bottle in her hand, Rei eyed it, warily, then took a short sip, then a smooth swig. Salty and wet, it ran easily to her head.

"Hmm... heheh.."

She should've considered her low endurance for alcohol, no matter how small the amount. Heck, she would've probably gotten drunk on the nail polish they used all the time, had she not been used to it.

"Is it good, Rei?"

She could feel her cheeks turning red at Minako's whispered question, her voice low.

Nodding jerkily, she thrust the bottle at the right of three blondes and smiled widely.

"Yesh, it's... goooood..! Heh.."

Minako stared at the sight before her, took in her friend's sprawled position atop her twisted apron, cheeks all rosy red and eyes set to low-burn, that she couldn't help it- she laughed.

Rei looked so cute..!

"What're you goin' on about?"

The Goddess of Love took another look and clamped both hands to her mouth- Rei looked GREAT! "Pfft..!" Holding out the bottle, the woman had took the tips of her hair and drew them to her face, poking at them with her nose.

She was sitting criss-cross apple-sauce, and Minako couldn't help but picture Rei in cat ears, pawing at catnip. It was too much.

She bucked out, laughing, kicking herself to her belly and pounding the floor with her shaking hands. It was HILARIOUS..!

"*HICK!*"

Ooh, boy.

"UMPPH! R-REI?"

Suddenly, it was like fire spread to her back, her legs, her feet, her neck. Everywhere Rei had sprawled on top of her. It was so comfortably hot-!

"Pshaw! Y'just need a li'l swig here, *hick!* lover girl."

Wha-? Did Rei just...? Did she just call her LOVER GIRL? BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, it was PRICELESS!

"C'mere..."

"Mmmph?"

Minako froze.

"Mnn..."

The scent of lime and popcorn were in the air, a grown woman that was her best friend was on top of her, she'd been laughing like crazy- and now she'd flipped to her back and Rei was burrowing her hands right up under Minako's sweater, her lips at her throat.

Kissing.

"H-HAhaHAHAhaha!"

Minako burst out laughing, her pants hysterical whimpers. She was ticklish. HELL, she was ticklish!

Suddenly Rei loomed over her, her slash of white fang so sexy and rogue that Minako forgot to breathe.

"This stuff's good."

Oh my Go-! The woman wasn't even drunk! AAH!

"The bottle's gonna tip, the bottle's gonna tip, the bottle's gonna-!"

"I know."

That, uttered in such a low snarl of huskiness, had Minako gulping.

"And I want a taste..."

Rei poured mixed margarita all over her front. It was jerking cold, but then oh-so-hot as Rei's hands massaged her sopping front, earning a low moan from her.

"Tasting, tasting, one two three..."

Aaahh, the woman was a tease. Lowered herself and blew out probably just as slowly as she could. Right at her neck. AGAIN. This time, Minako didn't laugh.

She was too busy gaping at the popcorn in the air, with extra cheese, that Rei, above her, failed to notice.

One piece of popcorn was on fire.

It landed on the hem of her sweatshirt.

And the world burst into flame, popcorn galore just hopping right outta the pan. Talk about out of the pan and into the fire. She wouldn't have it any other way. And she hadn't even tasted the margarita yet!

"Did I NOT mention the part where I didn't want my home burned down?"

Makoto stared at the burn marks on her kitchen floor. Ami stood behind her, mouth open a fraction of an inch.

"I'm speechless."

Both Rei and Makoto snorted at their friend, giving her a grin. Best crack at a joke for the day.

"Hey, Artemis wanted some popcorn, and we.. um.."

"Forgot to put a LID ON IT! Yeah, that's it!"

Ami grinned right back at the two. Judging by some red marks on her friend's neck, YEAH, they forgot to put a lid on IT. The four girls sat in Makoto's living room, Rei and Minako sprawled out on the floor, Ami and Artemis on the couch, Makoto straddling a computer chair with wheels with a pillow between the seat and her chest.

"Well, guys, um..."

Instantly, Minako and Rei were wondering at their friend's guilty tone.

"Y-Yeah?"

Warily said. Silence. Complete and utter...

"Meeeeeeow! Daku, HONTO? C'mon, Minako, tell 'em you guys were-!"

"Artemis, you're a GUY, even if you WERE here, well..!"

Ami gently squeezed the affronted cat and gave him a good nuzzle. Makoto frowned, then sighed. Standing, she sat over near Rei and Minako, bowing her head.

"Sorry, you two, but... My kitchen's okay, all right? Just, I, um.. Uh.."

Rei and Minako stared at their head-down friend and jumped up and gathered her in a hug. They held her 'till the rigidness was gone and then let go.

"So, what?"

Ami walked over to the three and glanced over at the Cooking Goddess.

"We flooded- more like wetted-down your kitchen. Here is where WE'RE sorry."

Rei gaped at the two, then stammered out a, "R-Really?.."

Minako took Rei's hand and shrugged.

"We're sorry, too. We used up that margarita bottle, the popcorn blew up in flames, the margarita was on my shirt," A VERY intense blush here. "and the floor KINDA caught on fire."

All four looked at each other, at their friend's frowning faces, then started to laugh. They all knew fair play, but when down-'n'-dirty was there, it sure payed off to have each other.

"Psst, hey, Makoto, you didn't tell them you ripped Rei's old

tutu up to swab up the water."

(a casual hand wave, dismissing the thought.)

"She hated the thing, Ami- she told us so herself. She's probably crying with joy right now."

(from across town)

"!"

A/N: popcorn, anyone? ^^


End file.
